@jazmasta: They laughed at me when I bought Velcro sneakers but no one will be laughing when the great shoelace drought of 2044 comes
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@ChaseMit: My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair.
@cupcakelynda: My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
@SexySillyGrl: You call it nervousness or having the jitters. I call it, I think my body was possessed by a meth addict in detox. Samesies?
@joeljeffrey: [Eating] Waiter: How's the meal? Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...