@Slygirl08: They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
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@thenatewolf: Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*
@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.
@TechnicallyRon: My new erotic novel "Love in the time of autocorrect" will be out soon. Here is a sample