@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
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@MissItAintMe: Today is awesome. I got pulled over by a cop on a bike. He even asked if I knew why he was "pulling me over" You need a ride! Duh
@Tmoney68: Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
@GuyThe_Guy: In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway.
@ReeseButCallMeV: I wonder if black ants and red ants have beef. I never see them chilling together. Ever.