@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
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@D2BMcG: Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: In a mirror! Well any reflective surface really, windows, shiny cars, puddles...
@crushingbort: "Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz," Janet cried. "Where does it stop?" 8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for