@pranavsapra: They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out.
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@aguywithnolife: brought a knife onto a flight just so the security agents would tackle me because sometimes it's just nice to be held.
@Tmoney68: Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: For a dude who just shot a man in the head, the guy from Bohemian Rhapsody seems quite sanctimonious about getting spit on.
@hazelmotes1: "They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears