@therealeatwood: They needed three Back to the Future movies so they could cover life’s three great concerns: one’s birth, one’s future legacy, and cowboy
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@_Water_Baby: Scary is handing your car keys to the same kid who unintentionally locked himself in the bathroom that morning.
@craydrienne: Twitter: your jokes suck Instagram: your face sucks Snapchat: your life sucks Facebook: your family misses you and is also racist
@GoldenSpirals: Apparently... Border Security does NOT think it's funny when you reply, "I'm hungry" when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
@J_Dazzle76: If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do.