@Hect0rMayorga: They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion "The true grease stain remover"
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@flashember: [zebra in prison] well this is ironic PRISON GUARD: no it isn't ZEBRA: ok but I do look kinda funny in here PG: dude, you murdered 3 people
@themiltron: [first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there
@murrman5: are you the girl who types everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*
@Kirinodere: Obama: I'm going to miss living in the White Hou- Biden: DUUUDE look at my roll! Obama: MAAAN is that UR Kotori?