@le_buns: they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like "oh"
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@Vodkantots: "How much for the supermodel?" *winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."
@lazerdoov: Mcdonalds showing people doing yoga in their commercials is like George Bush having a library named after him.
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*
@JJSummertime: It is snowing perfect snowball packing snow right now, so I was wondering if anyone would like to walk slowly past my house?