@crushingbort: They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people
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@Offensivehere: Me: lets go get a drink! Friend: what's the occasion? Me: ... Friend: ... Me: I don't understand the question.
@TheTweetOfGod: What a tense, tense day 4/19 was. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, will be a little mellower.
@iAmDelFreaky: I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!
@GrantTanaka: *deep fries turkey *deep fries deck *deep fries backyard *deep fries house *deep fries neighborhood *deep fries los angeles