@shariv67: They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs.
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@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.
@jordan_stratton: You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
@CatherineLMK: Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.