@JoParkerBear: They said if gay marriage became legal, people would start marrying dogs and cats, but I guess that was just another bs political promise.
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@LindaInDisguise: After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do.
@pplwtching: I just forgot about some nachos in the oven, don't tell me about your hopes and dreams going up in flames.
@IchBin_Rob: [At a Christening] Priest: I now pronounce you Chris and Chris. You may kiss the Chris. Guests: *chanting* Chris Chris Chris.