@JasonLastname: They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted.
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@ibid78: "Your word is 'oujia'" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won
@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *boss trying to relate to younger employees* "Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"
@ElgatoEsmio: [trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] “can you hook me up with some wifi?"
@tastefactory: *slides into home plate and crowd goes wild* Hey everybody, be quiet for a minute! *pulls out phone, dials number* Hi mom, I got home safe.