@tropicalenvy: They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste. You have nothing to worry about.
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@theyearofelan: Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???
@nPhelendriqal: Ughh...7 more hours till I can go home. Oh, sorry, my Canadian friends...7 more Kilometers till I can go home. Or is it liters?
@CornOnTheGoblin: [doctor presses play] [video of me having a hard time slowing down after exiting an airport moving sidewalk] couple: maybe a different donor
@TheMichaelRock: Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.