@tropicalenvy: They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste. You have nothing to worry about.
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@MattMcC1: "nice dog or cat or baby or whatever" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. "was it expensive?"
@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@MouthOfSass: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that.