@Rollinintheseat: They say a woman deserves a man that looks at her every day like it's the first time he's seen her. It's wrong to promote Alzheimer's.
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@SortaBad: A $7 voucher at the airport is like having 100 skeeball tickets at Chuck E Cheese: it sounds good on paper but won't get you anything decent
@liv_thatsme: (My wedding day) Grandma: You remind me so much of your father Me: Wow, thanks that means a lot G: Your father was a disappointment also
@ShoutingGoddess: When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross.
@noog: At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.