@Rollinintheseat: They say a woman deserves a man that looks at her every day like it's the first time he's seen her. It's wrong to promote Alzheimer's.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Why is 9 crying? me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep
@lilgapeach30: If an officer asks "do you know why I pulled you over" "Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?" is a bad answer, apparently.