@AntozWolf: They say being a hostage is difficult - but I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.
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@jlock17: So annoying how every time I go to sleep, my wife starts whispering into my ear "Go towards the light."
@Contwixt: The day we decided such footwear would be called "flip-flops" was not our most creative moment.
@Ideal_Victoria: *experiences all five stages of grief while the waiter walks by my table with what I thought was my dinner*