@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.
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@BuckyIsotope: Did your date order honey for dinner? Did your date eat the waiter when he brought the honey? Is your date a bear? You are dating a bear.
@JediGigi: I like Halloween because no one questions the human skulls I keep on my front porch as long as I put candles in them.
@SaltyCorpse: I'm gonna start writing all my tweets in cursive so my kids can't read them when I'm dead.