@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.
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@DuaneABarrett: Just overheard someone say, "I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries." You know. Like a book.
@beefman138: Wife : The neighbours are banging on our front door again. Me : Why can't they do it in a bed, like normal people?
@nellyweather: "What's your favourite Pixar film?" "Up, yours?" "No need to be like that I was only asking"
@animaldrumss: Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults