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@TheBoydP: They say don’t eat when you’re bored but I never get bored of eating so I think I’m good.
@shkeeber: Her: 911, what's your emerge-
Me: SOMEONE'S WEARING CROCS!
Her: Sir, that's not an em-
Me: WITH A FANNY PACK!
Her: I'll send an officer.
@SharkJelly: Yoou can lead a horse to water but you need a seahorse to continue your journey
@prufrockluvsong: Everything at the mini mart is normal-sized and I feel so betrayed.
@simonblackwell: At the polling station. Bodes well for Labour - loads of young people here. Or I might possibly be at the wrong primary school.