@TheBoydP: They say don’t eat when you’re bored but I never get bored of eating so I think I’m good.
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@stephenjmolloy: Magician: "Think of a card." Me: "Okay." Magician: "You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!" Me: "I was thinking about a get well soon card."
@deadstick_ron: [egg hatches and a duck billed platypus pops out] Mummy duck:... Daddy duck: WHAT THE ACTUAL FU Otter: Clive, now, calm down, lemme explain.
@Trillburne: Was Guy Fawkes hot? Well, by our standards, no. However, he was extremely religious and violent, which was the 17th century's equivalent of being hot.