@fatherofcomedy: They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [cat support technician] Me: So you're here to fix my computer? Cat: *nods* Me: Great, here it is. Cat: *lays on keyboard & falls asleep*
@hazelmotes1: Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here.
@thepamilerin: My mum entered my room &found me asleep. She Walked closer, caressed my hair & slapped my face saying 'ur last seen on whatsApp was 1min ago
@SomeChrisTweets: *ding* This is your captain speaking. We... Is this what my voice sounds like? Nobody told me! Haha, wow, weird. We're out of fuel.