@samsara668: They say I can take the catheter out next week. And no, I'll never piss on an electric fence again
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@causticbob: News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change. But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@eTHEgoddess: The glittery vampire from Twilight is putting out an album. In other news, real musicians continue to play for coins in the subway.