@HallpassCanada: Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write "GREAT" on the side of thier car with my keys!

@Parkerlawyer: My husband calls me Sugar and my dog's name is Sugar so when he says, "C'mere Sugar" there's an awkward stare down between me and the dog.

@thepunningman: I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE AND I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE

@AdamSerwer: In Trump's America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.

@CamusOverEasy: If you took the Facebook IQ Test and it determined you’re a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results.