@pmann555: They say it's not the destination, it's the journey.........Except when you're heading to the bathroom with diarrhea...
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@truegritrumble: SPOUSE: No. ME: It’s just a costume. SPOUSE: You’re not going to your parents’ Halloween party as “the child they wished they had.”
@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
@DadandBuried: *putting kid to bed* Me: Goodnight, buddy, I love you. Sleep tight. 7yo: Dad, you have to make sugar cookies to bring to class tomorrow. Goodnight!