@pmann555: They say it's not the destination, it's the journey.........Except when you're heading to the bathroom with diarrhea...
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@truegritrumble: MURDERER: *while murdering me* I feel like you're not taking this seriously. ME: *eating a Belgian waffle* Wut?
@MoistPork: Just once, I'd ike a cop to pull me over and tell me how great I'm driving, especially considering I've had 12 beers.
@trojansauce: [titanic] SAILER: but captain there's an ice berg right ahead CAPTAIN WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SHARK: i said straight ahead
@shadygrenade: License and registration please. "Bears." Excuse me? "Beaaaaars." Are you drunk sir? "BEAAAARS!" Stop saying bea- *cop is mauled by bears*