@Scdavis24: They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business.
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@rockymomax: FRIEND: can you hold my keys? ME: no [pulling another fanny pack out of my fanny pack] but you can
@Matt_The_1st: Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: You thought I was black? Cop: Haha. Yep. You're free to go sir
@ohpegah: *thinks every animal is a type of dog* *sees a cat* scratch dog *sees a parrot* talk dog *sees a worm* spaghetti dog