@Ameiam: They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone.
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@truegritrumble: BOSS: I'm firing you. ME: Thank heavens! BOSS: Why else would I call you here? ME: Thought I was losing my job *puts on helmet* BOSS: Lol. No. *helps me into cannon* Who else would do this?
@MrEmilyHeller: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.
@AristotlesNZ: This dog must been at some wild ass party last night. He still wearing a lampshade around his neck.