@Ameiam: They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@snmrrw: Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the "Ras" and slipping back into Russian politics.
@KKBowls: Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in? Dr.: a plastic bag
@sixfootcandy: Me: Throw it back. It's too small. Him: Ma'am, this is your child. Me: Fine. Use him as bait.
@jakefromstfarm3: A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider.