@Ameiam: They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone.
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@3sunzzz: My husband called and asked if I could be naked before he gets home from work. I feel awkward sitting here with his mother, but whatever.
@radtoria: I accidentally answered my phone & panicked when I heard someone say "hello?" so I just did the best I could & made the fax machine noise.
@markhoppus: Watching Riverdale with my son has afforded us important discussions like not to lie to the police when your twin brother dies mysteriously.
@champagnefeeI: when i tell someone where i live and they say “omg that’s so far” like i’m not inviting u over lmaoooo so don’t worry about ur imaginary journey.