@rolldiggity: "They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft.
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@heyevergreen: Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Walk around the party eating the cheeseball like an apple.
@marcia_bee: Note to self: "rubber" in the US does NOT mean "eraser". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!
@GASmithIV: Like Rachel Dolezal, I too have been pretending to be something I'm not. For years, I've pretended to be white, when I'm actually a ladder.
@heidi420x: You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..