@rolldiggity: "They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicestHippo: [girl points at my scar] What happened? Oh that? Old sports injury. [flashback to me sprinting after an ice cream truck]
@heroinsdemise: Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"
@Dutch_50: What's the name of the phobia for a fear of opening your mailbox because there might be a wedding invitation inside?
@TheAlexNevil: Newton taught us that a body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion, and that figs taste good in cookies.