@rolldiggity: "They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft.
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@Momfia: Remember ladies: when a guy says "I'm listening" what he means is "I bet if Godzilla had machine guns for arms he'd of been unstoppable".
@brakco: I can't help but feel that if Mario hadn't been taking so many mushrooms he would have found the right castle rather quickly..
@1Happytwit: Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine.
@shkeeber: Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...