@leahlovescheez: They say "pick your battles", so today Oreos win.
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@JonnyStallone: Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
@bourgeoisalien: No, please continue to talk loudly on the phone, smoke & spit next to my table. No problem! I'm just going to follow you home and kill you.
@JaneBadall: Online relationships - For when you want to be disappointed by imaginary people, too.
@juliussharpe: For just $28,000, I will teach any politician or politician's wife to wave like a normal human being.