@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'
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@jonnysun: "oh holy crap this farmer just crucified a dude, maybe we shoud stay away from this farm" - what crows realy think when they see a scarecrow
@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
@Tmoney68: If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.
@Corncleats: *flexing arms* I'd like you to meet my two good friends, Sledge and- "Hammer?" Holy shit that's way cooler.. I was gonna say Sledge 2