@DiscoFruit: they say running is addictive, that's why i don't do it, i'm afraid i'll end up in a fitness gym alley offering sex for treadmill time.
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@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
@WilliamAder: If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now.
@Robert_Beau: The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I'm a really big cat person ME: *leans in really close* You don't look anything like a cat