@Black__Elvis: They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season.
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@moooooog35: Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.
@trevso_electric: I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
@PeachCoffin: The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl.