@Black__Elvis: They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season.
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@lafpgh: Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures.
@FatherWithTwins: "Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look." - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious