@mommajessiec: They say the cheetah is the fastest land animal, but nobody has ever clocked a parent whose child called for a plunger from within the bathroom.
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@rolldiggity: Dog Walking Business Idea: 1. Train every dog to walk another dog. 2. Put the dogs in a dog walking circle. 3. GO TO A MOVIE!
@TheCatWhisprer: [fancy restaurant] HOST: uh sir, no outside food or drink is allowed ME: this is my service chalupa