@envydatropic: They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people
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@shutupmikeginn: You gotta give it up to whoever invented mistletoe at Christmas, all they did was hang up a weed, but were like, "now ye must kiss me."
@WilliamAder: Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught.
@gorrdano: Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it.
@inmynewskin: I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt