@envydatropic: They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people
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@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
@: The commando team infiltrates my base, sneaks up behind my guards, and executes the neck twist maneuver. But my owl guards are unharmed.
@GrandadJFreeman: If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
@LMHPhotog: Ancient Man: Out of water. Let's walk 10,000 miles to a fresh continent. Modern Man: Fridge is empty. Guess I'll just die in my kitchen.