@envydatropic: They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people
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@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@RexHuppke: Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with
@rivalpunks: In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.