@Tmoney68: They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I'm at Applebee's & have a dead mouse in my pocket that says otherwise.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sirivan: Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out. He spends all day chilling in the water. His life is one big pool party.
@ericacanrant: If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
@SadieSmithRoks: A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
@MableGertrude: Oh, so you make the bed everyday...I suppose you're also the type of snob that folds your clothes and puts them in "drawers."