@NathanBgood: "They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors
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@wolfpupy: you couldn't be more wrong, i on the other hand could be far more wrong due to my incredibly vast stupidity
@Lhlodder: Me: You know better than to use that bad word. 5-year-old: Yes. Me: Then why did you? 5: My brain said not to, but my mouth does whatever it wants.
@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.
@3sunzzz: H: Did you remember to pick up the seal so the tub will stop leaking? M: *holding a baby seal* You should have been more specific.