@NathanBgood: "They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ariscott: I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.
@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
@BestScienceJoke: 2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man.