@NathanBgood: "They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theshamingofjay: I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check.
@rockymomax: HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD
@NewDadNotes: [Garden of Eden] Adam: [petting the first dog] I’m gonna call you Man’s best friend Eve: I thought I was your best friend? Adam: I love you Eve: aww I love you too Adam: oh...I was still talking to the dog