@macchiatonumb: They say women only use 10% of their anger
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@ReeseButCallMeV: Mean while, back on Facebook, Jennifer is blaming the birth of her son for her being fat. Her son is 6 ....
@3sunzzz: Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, "Christ speaking", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome.
@FrogAvalanche: *live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes.
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm not angry, just disappointed. You need to try harder. This is important! Do I make myself clear?" "Sorry, sir. Here's your ketchup."