@macchiatonumb: They say women only use 10% of their anger
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@Dadpression: Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.
@AskAuntieEm1: I can't seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don't need their assistance in the bathroom.
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you. Your life flashes before your eyes: crappy jobs, breakups, Ren fairs. The werewolf gets depressed and goes home.