@1Happytwit: They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug.
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@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters
@ChrisScarlette: May I pay you handsomely, good sir? -Why yes you may. *opens wallet* *pulls out Ryan Gosling*
@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.