@TheCatWhisprer: They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
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@Rich_McCarthy: Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife "promised" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid.
@iwearaonesie: me: time to apologize. did you eat the receipt? 8: yup me: ok cause if mom finds out we bought these flowers at the grocery store we're dead
@daemonic3: Mom: Did we pack everything? The stupid baby monitor? Dad: Ugh I hate that annoying dumb thing! Tiny Monitor Lizard: Ok wow I'm right here
@bourgeoisalien: when I hit 45 I'm going to start sleeping in a coffin. let's be honest, my lifestyle choices have been questionable