@turdfailure: They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
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@underrateDad: 83% of parenting is repeating the same set of instructions over and over using a different kid's name.
@UncleDuke1969: You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. "A Game of Phones"
@hdaniels_00: When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep til noon because I am a problem solver
@Try2StopME: Husband: "Lost my keys again." Wife: "It's in your Jeans." Husband: "Come on, Why do you have to Drag my family into this!"