@prodigalsam: They should give the girls who don't get a rose on The Bachelor a cat.
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@FattMernandez: Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?
@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?
@JoParkerBear: America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education.