@Loli_Sug: They should make engagement ring boxes that whisper "Dont do it" when you open them.
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@Emma_HumbleBea: When my cat has an accident on the carpet, he hides to escape responsibility. It's a, "shit and run".
@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Her: omg are you wearing a cape? Lol Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape