@Loli_Sug: They should make engagement ring boxes that whisper "Dont do it" when you open them.
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@ilovepie84: I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said "I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"
@PaulGibson1963: Daughter steals my iPad so I left Google open on "too many kids" & "making it look accidental." Found my iPad but haven't seen her all day.
@sarcasm_inc: Batman pushes a batcuffed Joker thru the crowd. "Look! Hahaha!" yells the Joker. Batman glances up at the jumbotron. GODDAMN the kiss cam.