@jessokfine: They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Bublé version of Monster Mash.
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@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@KeetPotato: wife: "im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it" store owner: "it's okay" me: [lying in a coffin] "the first one was better"
@ImaFlyontheWall: Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor