@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
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@sarah1mc: I hate when I'm telling my best friend a story and she gets all judgmental and walks off to get a drink from her water bowl.
@Elizasoul80: What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals.
@WeissBrandon: Oh no sir, that shark wasn't attacking me, my wife was yelling at me from the shore so I was just trying to swim into his mouth.