@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
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@Scorpio1080: The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety" - Science Person
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: *dies and fades away* Luke: Thank God. I was so sick of his backward talking. Ghost Yoda: Heard that, I did.
@WisdomGifs: You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.
@Jesssicle: People are writing condolences on my Grandma's Facebook that sound more like Yelp reviews of her. Great woman, very loving, 5/5 stars