@shariv67: They should really replace, "I now pronounce you man and wife" with "FINISH HIM!!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@themiltron: interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death
@mikeleffingwell: "And... uh... chocolate kills dogs." - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth.
@thenatewolf: *I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter* Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours.
@Adar79Angie: Since Walking Dead isn't on I've hid pot from my stoner friends. As they amble around looking for it I'm shooting them with paint ball guns.