@shariv67: They should really replace, "I now pronounce you man and wife" with "FINISH HIM!!"
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@candace_9871: Yah I ordered a large pizza but it's thin crust/ light cheese so basically it's a salad .
@GrantTanaka: boss: [asks me to do something] me: [wonders how beyonce would do it] boss: STOP WONDERING ABOUT HOW BEYONCE WOULD DO IT
@gabemakesmusic: I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming "That's not what I said!"