@iGreenMonk: They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.
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@AnOrangeSNES: Nine out of ten doctors agree that dying is bad for your health. The other doctor is clad in a dark robe and carrying a scythe.
@KentWGraham: I used to love pretending I was Captain America and flinging a garbage can lid at kids in the neighborhood. But then my wife made me stop.
@ArfMeasures: KID IN PARK [crying] I think my mum might of left me here ME: Oh no! WIFE: Talk to him ME: Hey, listen kid *kneels down* it's might HAVE