@iGreenMonk: They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: We can't drive the car, it's stuck in the mud... Doesn't it help if you put something under the back tires? Me: Are you volunteering?
@gentilecoont: Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with.
@HaramiParindey: Interviewer : What are your expectations? Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job? Me : Salary
@SequelsWeWant: Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth