@ninjadinosaur1: 'They'll be searching for days!' I giggle as I leave 'sorry bout the damage notes' on random cars at the Costco
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@iwearaonesie: *quietly tries to open a bag of chips while son walks around looking for his bag of chips*
@mattZillaaaa: My credit card company sent me a final notice bill. Good, I was tired of hearing from them
@electroskippy: [installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?
@KeetPotato: [tv commercial] me: "know what i'd love for breakfast?" mum: "what's that son?" me: "if someone pre-chewed my food" narrator: "porridge"