@ninjadinosaur1: 'They'll be searching for days!' I giggle as I leave 'sorry bout the damage notes' on random cars at the Costco
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@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(
@NicestHippo: "So did you get lucky last night?" You better believe it! [flashback to me making all green lights omw home after girl refused to kiss me]
@MartaEffing: I hate when I take a nap on a park bench and everyone assumes I homeless. People with houses get tired, too.