@OfficeofSteve: They'll continuously make Fast & Furious movies until it's a bunch of old men trying to get out of a grocery store parking lot
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: Threesome? Wife: When pigs fly! Do I wish for flying pigs? Pro: Threesome Con: High bacon prices *has idea *starts building catapult
@MatCro: *phone rings* Wife - "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me - *puts lipstick on the dog and watches Sleepless in Seattle* Wife - "....""
@ceejoyner: Keep yelling "dance!" and shooting at my feet, tough guy. I studied tap for 9 years and you're going to look like an idiot.
@wendchymes: My boyfriend and I are into role playing-I pretend to be hotter and skinnier and he pretends not to be a Nigerian teen in an Internet cafe .