@SwartyComedy: They'll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that's been open for more than 2 years.
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@JeffSarcastic: [dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick
@SteveSuckington: [my dad and my 3 yr old daughter] Him: Hey sweetie how've you been? Her: I have a boyfriend Me: lmao *my daughter and I high five*