@DurtMcHurtt: "They're like a sponge at this age" I say to the parents of the baby I'm using to scrub dishes with.
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@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries.
@QwertyJones3: The woman who sits next to me at work just told someone she's surrounded by idiots. I feel bad for her.
@julezmac: Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no