@Lisa_Laughs_: They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.
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@JimmerThatisAll: I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.
@Darlainky: -That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.
@KizerBillhelm: *on first date* Did you know that wool sweaters are the closest you can legally come to being inside a sheep?