@Lisa_Laughs_: They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.
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@TheToddWilliams: Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
@Twitmytweeties: "Snitches get stitches" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, "Snitches never wake up again" is more likely to deter snitching...
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me one of your long term goals" Sleeping "No, I meant-" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg "Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?" Me: *grabs another donut & runs*