@Elizasoul80: They're not gym clothes if you don't go to the gym, they're pajamas.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam.
@KeetPotato: [sex-ed lesson] now, unroll the condom down over the bana- what is it keith? "i ate my banana"