@arresteddev: They're upping my charges from prank bomb to non-Arab terrorism.
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@WhiskeySoured: To protest Donald Sterling's racist comments I'm going to continue to not care about basketball.
@NotARatsAss: Want to spice things up? Look them right in the eyes and lick their fingers seductively. My dentist didn't appreciate it, but yours might.
@AthenaMystique: How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair? Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.