@arresteddev: They're upping my charges from prank bomb to non-Arab terrorism.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brampersandon_: BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit
@ShtFatGirlsSay: Doctors say eating a piece of Bacon takes 9 mins off your life...if my math is correct i died in 1781
@mompsychologist: Sorry to all the people my 3yo has yelled at for eating ice cream in a car. Telling him it was illegal was wrong. I know this now.
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.