@imVig: Thief: Did u see me rob this bank?nTeller: well, yes!nn*Teller shot in the head*nThief: DID U SEE ME ROB THIS BANK?nMe: No. But my wife did!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ProdigyNelson: [date] Her: "Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?" Me: *halfway out the door* "Educated."
@ScorpionDong: Everyone knows Robin but not a lot of people know Batman's other sidekicks: Stealin, Burglin, Thievin
@slimmy_shady: Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
@TheRolo: I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit "ignore caller" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?