@imVig: Thief: Did u see me rob this bank?nTeller: well, yes!nn*Teller shot in the head*nThief: DID U SEE ME ROB THIS BANK?nMe: No. But my wife did!
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@jsteele3966: People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text "LOL" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long.
@vanderwangwe: Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school.
@Parentpains: Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso.