@tehaveragejoel: things I'm passionate about: The Rule of Threes, self referential humor, and the Oxford comma.
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@MableGertrude: I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort.
@WhiskeySoured: If you feel like you're going through a rough patch, just remember that it only lasts through adulthood.
@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for